Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.