wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.