I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend