I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend