i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...