I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave