I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave