Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?