yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you