and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.