He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.