Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.