i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
do herpes really smell.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.