just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
do herpes really smell.