her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great