I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town