Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (617)

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions

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  you want 1 or 2 eggos?

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  (617): i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions (617): you want 1 or 2 eggos? http://tfl.nu/kwdg
  Replies (2) Good night (1886) Bad night (463)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.

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  Where are you?

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  Strip Club

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  (508): Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends. (617): Where are you? (508): Strip Club http://tfl.nu/9e3o
  Replies (15) Good night (2917) Bad night (658)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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  (617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp
  Replies (14) Good night (1717) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

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  (617): yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9. http://tfl.nu/1zb6
  Replies (25) Good night (1940) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (2845) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

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  Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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  (978): Why are you at a bar in Connecticut? (617): Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom http://tfl.nu/akoi
  Replies (20) Good night (3437) Bad night (465)
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  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

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  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93441) Bad night (4585)
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  There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?

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  (617): There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man? http://tfl.nu/v739
  Replies (36) Good night (537) Bad night (1471) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Where were you when I was single???

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  Still in diapers.

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  (617): Where were you when I was single??? (1-617): Still in diapers. http://tfl.nu/ngk8
  Replies (15) Good night (1407) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  Non-Jews are for practice

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  (617): Non-Jews are for practice http://tfl.nu/ikoa
  Replies (27) Good night (1138) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  I cannot find my penis.

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  (617): I cannot find my penis. http://tfl.nu/w331
  Replies (32) Good night (679) Bad night (2311) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio

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  (617): I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio http://tfl.nu/knlp
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

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  Remember that time you hooked up with him?

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  (908): Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit? (617) Remember that time you hooked up with him? http://tfl.nu/yz0c
  Replies (7) Good night (561) Bad night (1272)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?

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  (617): have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex? http://tfl.nu/34zp
  Replies (28) Good night (597) Bad night (1391) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel rough

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  just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.

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  (617): i feel rough (617): just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/6foz
  Replies (24) Good night (625) Bad night (1702)