And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed