I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...