started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?