I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.