Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times