It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.