I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.