I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.