he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.