the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.