ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid