dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup