i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance