I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.