I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
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I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.