I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.