Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"