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Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
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