Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (630)

Last Night in Illinois (630)

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So what's going on?

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We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.

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(630): So what's going on? (1-630): We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid. http://tfl.nu/vkkl

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Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.

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(630): Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger. http://tfl.nu/07lb

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For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"

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(630): For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey" http://tfl.nu/xp9h

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do you know how bad I want you right now?

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As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

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is that a hint?

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(630): do you know how bad I want you right now? (1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me? (630): is that a hint? http://tfl.nu/28x8

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Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?

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(630): Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo? http://tfl.nu/ndaq

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Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.

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(630): Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun. http://tfl.nu/krwt

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Why did you send me a picture of a dick?

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It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.

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(815): Why did you send me a picture of a dick? (630): It was an accident sry. Not mine tho. http://tfl.nu/rf2s

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It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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(630): It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again. http://tfl.nu/c0k2

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First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.

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(630): First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out. http://tfl.nu/rcq3

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Have you finally orgasmed yet?

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(630): Have you finally orgasmed yet? http://tfl.nu/pxlw

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Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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(630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e

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why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

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(630): why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt? http://tfl.nu/7oa6

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How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?

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(630): How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday? http://tfl.nu/cltz

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I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me

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(630): I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me http://tfl.nu/7scv

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Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

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It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

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(630): Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me (1-630): It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous http://tfl.nu/qwdq

Replies (9) Good night (569) Bad night (2323)

Last Night in Illinois (630)

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