i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen