Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
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it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!