Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!