Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (630)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x
  Replies (11) Good night (509) Bad night (1453)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up. http://tfl.nu/oo6k
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (1363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just tell him i said nine months

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): just tell him i said nine months http://tfl.nu/oqo8
  Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (3634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican. (310): ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated. http://tfl.nu/5wsv
  Replies (12) Good night (503) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  This is a rough morning for me

  (577): View more from

  No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): This is a rough morning for me (577): No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma. http://tfl.nu/q4hk
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about... http://tfl.nu/mp2d
  Replies (7) Good night (495) Bad night (2812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!" http://tfl.nu/oaz1
  Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus http://tfl.nu/u8l4
  Replies (19) Good night (486) Bad night (1674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
  Replies (5) Good night (486) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so.... http://tfl.nu/umr8
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face. http://tfl.nu/i080
  Replies (8) Good night (477) Bad night (1148) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it http://tfl.nu/s57c
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (1518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m
  Replies (10) Good night (470) Bad night (3296) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her. http://tfl.nu/sljo
  Replies (30) Good night (465) Bad night (2238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law! http://tfl.nu/y27z
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt