and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think my vagina is haunted
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No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
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and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow