I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.