Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?