dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"