His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway