Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I spit up blood this morning
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?