For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
porn star boner night. come get it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."