Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.