i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
porn star boner night. come get it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.