we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?