the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on