Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
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I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
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How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.