I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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