Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
love makes seman taste better
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.