Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (603)

Last Night in New Hampshire (603)

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?

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(603): You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular? http://tfl.nu/marg

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i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening

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yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night

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(603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening (508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night http://tfl.nu/fae5

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Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?

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(603): Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background? http://tfl.nu/ypnh

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Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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(603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi

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Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

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The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

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(603): Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station. (1-603): The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS. http://tfl.nu/opvz

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(410): View more from Maryland

it was a mass text i'm sorry

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do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?

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(410): it was a mass text i'm sorry (603): do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text? http://tfl.nu/ja5x

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just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap

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(603): just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap http://tfl.nu/im6h

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I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.

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(603): I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome. http://tfl.nu/ibqv

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I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.

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(603): I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed. http://tfl.nu/bqzz

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I just threw up on my dentist

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(603): I just threw up on my dentist http://tfl.nu/4tee

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Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'

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that's awkward

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(603): Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple' (1-603): that's awkward http://tfl.nu/90bf

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She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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(603): She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her http://tfl.nu/d3n8

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i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess

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(603): i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess http://tfl.nu/ousq

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not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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(603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc

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I puked a lego.

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(603): I puked a lego. http://tfl.nu/7r9h

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Last Night in New Hampshire (603)

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