I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.