I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.