Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.