so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?