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Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
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