I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable