Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (512)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see http://tfl.nu/ic6l
  Replies (6) Good night (797) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??" (1-512): Yeah no more flaming everclear shots. http://tfl.nu/vc2f
  Replies (10) Good night (785) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25. http://tfl.nu/95s1
  Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not... http://tfl.nu/1rqn
  Replies (36) Good night (770) Bad night (6996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you http://tfl.nu/3p9a
  Replies (10) Good night (769) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS http://tfl.nu/z5cf
  Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

  (214): View more from Texas

  What? They have three kids?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk
  Replies (20) Good night (757) Bad night (5951)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker. http://tfl.nu/5qzf
  Replies (9) Good night (756) Bad night (2860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants http://tfl.nu/4e8k
  Replies (61) Good night (753) Bad night (8319) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just really need a hug and a shower beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I just really need a hug and a shower beer http://tfl.nu/4ssr
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail. http://tfl.nu/3erx
  Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high? http://tfl.nu/rga0
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently. http://tfl.nu/nwru
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt