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Last Night in Texas (512)

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everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf

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(512): everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf http://tfl.nu/ndyg

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I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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(512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p

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just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

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(512): just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton. http://tfl.nu/gz37

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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"

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(512): Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!" http://tfl.nu/rhjr

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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.

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(512): i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/a4iw

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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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(512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7

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did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?

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(512): did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz? http://tfl.nu/l1f0

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I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.

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(512): I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself. http://tfl.nu/i5og

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Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.

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(512): Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants. http://tfl.nu/4z6l

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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you

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(512): Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you http://tfl.nu/d8vu

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I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...

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(512): I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair... http://tfl.nu/zi5i

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Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.

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(512): Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference. http://tfl.nu/5ngp

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Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

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(512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6

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I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.

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(512): I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again. http://tfl.nu/arot

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Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!

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(512): Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?! http://tfl.nu/k4mm

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Last Night in Texas (512)

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