my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
