That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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