apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
