one two three fourrrrnication!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
