It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...