You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...