I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.