how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
