And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
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dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
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Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?