I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
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Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
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Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people