Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...