Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (631)

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  (631): View more from New York

  peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york

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  (631): peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york http://tfl.nu/xd1t
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  dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.

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  (631): dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me. http://tfl.nu/uux2
  Replies (8) Good night (3133) Bad night (655)
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  I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.

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  I don't want you to recite the pledge!

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  Pledge alligien to america to united states of america

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  (631): I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge. (401): I don't want you to recite the pledge! (631): Pledge alligien to america to united states of america http://tfl.nu/s7dx
  Replies (20) Good night (3429) Bad night (613)
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  If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.

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  (631): If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me. http://tfl.nu/ugtt
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  all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.

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  (631): all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight. http://tfl.nu/hryw
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  He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on

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  (631): He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on http://tfl.nu/fevt
  Replies (37) Good night (1408) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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  Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it

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  (631): Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it http://tfl.nu/0u81
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  My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

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  (631): My cock was attacked by outdoor plants http://tfl.nu/04m9
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  Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key

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  had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.

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  (631): Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key (631): had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now. http://tfl.nu/o06a
  Replies (21) Good night (828) Bad night (801)
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  Where you are. You must stay where you are are

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  Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu

  (631): View more from New York

  Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!

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  (631): Where you are. You must stay where you are are (631): Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu (631): Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!! http://tfl.nu/6b8y
  Replies (12) Good night (1006) Bad night (536)
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  Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?

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  (631): Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach? http://tfl.nu/iba6
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  meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.

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  wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!

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  aww shit wrong text.

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  (631): meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins. (516): wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?! (631): aww shit wrong text. http://tfl.nu/e9a5
  Replies (8) Good night (1343) Bad night (692)
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  Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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  (631) Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you. http://tfl.nu/pf1f
  Replies (14) Good night (1109) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt