Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (631)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud http://tfl.nu/p0vi
  Replies (44) Good night (1436) Bad night (18548) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He went soft

  (631): View more from New York

  Wait. During?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb
  Replies (99) Good night (808) Bad night (15766)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr
  Replies (21) Good night (882) Bad night (8339) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture http://tfl.nu/o7a7
  Replies (32) Good night (1825) Bad night (8129) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina http://tfl.nu/7w0w
  Replies (50) Good night (1451) Bad night (7881) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not. http://tfl.nu/ari1
  Replies (15) Good night (683) Bad night (7357) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches. http://tfl.nu/ic23
  Replies (28) Good night (486) Bad night (6996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?" http://tfl.nu/ljzm
  Replies (51) Good night (2012) Bad night (6663) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night http://tfl.nu/0bmo
  Replies (20) Good night (964) Bad night (6642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone http://tfl.nu/mgb2
  Replies (40) Good night (917) Bad night (6609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it. http://tfl.nu/dj6o
  Replies (19) Good night (2126) Bad night (6504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not http://tfl.nu/6wfd
  Replies (24) Good night (894) Bad night (6176) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu
  Replies (113) Good night (946) Bad night (6152) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

  (1-631): View more from New York

  that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her http://tfl.nu/x28l
  Replies (28) Good night (1087) Bad night (5937)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now... http://tfl.nu/8b9i
  Replies (12) Good night (1584) Bad night (5898) Order T-Shirt