I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN