you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.