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Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
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