the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.